I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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