She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just invented taco cereal.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
