It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
why do cheetos always look like penises
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
