just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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