it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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