you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
