I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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