exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We left the knife in your bed.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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