I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
