Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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