whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
