This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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