Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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