New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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