Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
