operation have a gay friend backfired
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
