your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
