Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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