and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
