we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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