I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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