you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
