Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
birth control should be required to get into college
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
