Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
