Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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