You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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