Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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