ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
