oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
