3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm going to jail i love you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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