I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
