wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
