dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
