I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
