today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
