I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
