We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
