Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize