Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
