you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Randomize
