Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
