"it" just moved
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
