We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
