just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Farmville is her only friend.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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