just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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