the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
