ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
