so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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