I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
