She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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