Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am one with the molecules
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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